


Learning To Live A Lie

by halfpastmonsoon



Series: Oumahina [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst and Humor, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Repressed, Gen, Idk tags are hard I'm probably overselling it, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Ouma in sdr2 au, Pining, Repression, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-22 02:38:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14298954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfpastmonsoon/pseuds/halfpastmonsoon
Summary: Aftermath of the Free Time Events between Hinata and Ouma





	Learning To Live A Lie

I invited Hinata-chan into my room without thinking it through much.  
He let me hold his hand the entire time.  
It seems to be a thing he does to people. I've seen him hold hands with some of the others, too.  
Hinata-chan is a strange person.  
But that makes him utterly fascinating.  
And surely not boring.

He entered my room and I closed the door behind him. Not like he was going to run away upon seeing the decorations I added in the meantime, after he visited me that one time...thought that would be funny. I made sure to customize properly. Nishishi~

He looked around and I watched his face. I couldn't help smiling at the mild fear showing clearly on his face as he looked from the crowned horse mask on my bed (which I had previosly hidden from him) to the whiteboard resting against the wall. I found both of them (the supermarket is truly well-stocked! I never expected to find such an amazing thing there, though it wasn't easy) and brought them here for.....personal reasons, but the whiteboard's purpose for now was being a victim of my artistic urges, currently covered in self-portraits of my adorably handsome face.

Its second purpose was going to start rather soon, but not until I could be sure I'm going to be all alone.

I took off my shoes and made my way towards the table. I placed the coconut I was still holding in my other hand on top of it and brought my index finger and thumb towards my chin.

„I see you like the new additions to my room, hm, Hinata-chan?”

He looked over at me and didn't say anything. I couldn't help grinning as I walked towards the bed to pick up the horse mask and put it on my head, careful not to drop the crown – it was essential after all! I spread my legs, placed one hand on my hip while the other formed a peace sign next to the horse mask covering my face.  
„I told you I'm the king horse, after all!”

He couldn't see my face, but I could see his clearly, and I saw him chuckling at the sight. It's a good thing he couldn't see me, actually, considering I might have been blushing just the tiiiiiiiiniest bit. Hinata-chan is quite adorable when he laughs. I was glad that this move managed to clear the atmosphere a bit. I won't get anything out of him if he's tense, after all.

After making sure my face is comfortably pale, I took the mask off and put it back on the bed, grinning at Hinata-chan.

„Heeey, maybe you should sit down, hm? I'll bring something to drink!”

He sat down by the table and said he can drink whatever, so I went into the bathroom, where I had stored some drinks. I couldn't count on him to bring me tea all the time, after all, so I had stolen a few packs of soda and iced tea and hid them there. It's not like it really counted as stealing, anyway, anyone could enter the supermarket whenever and take whatever they want. Especially me, of course. I could take anything I want regardless, as the supreme leader~

I cringed a bit, taking the first step into the shower room. The floor was quite cold and I was barefoot. I didn't really wear socks. I should, probably, since my feet would always end up kinda sweaty and gross by the end of the day of walking everywhere in my shoes, but I didn't care that much.  
I chose two bottles of iced tea, but before I returned back to the room, I felt my body freeze. My brain was running at double speed.

What...am I doing?

I knit my eyebrows and shook my head.

I have to shake off this feeling, one way or another.

But...which way is the right one?

Do I have to let myself trust, just this once?

Or do I have to kick him out right now?

It might be dangerous to get attached to anyone. It's too late for him, he already trusts me for some reason, but should I really let it continue? It should be fine if I don't open up too much. Probably.

I straightened my back and returned to the room. He was still looking at the whiteboard with a level of curiosity, so I suppose he didn't notice I was gone for so long.

„Sorry to keep you waiting, Hinata-chan! I see you're admiring my self-portraits, nishishi~”

I handed him one of the bottles and he nodded, tilting his head slightly.

„I'm kind of amazed that you're able to spend time drawing when we're, you know, in a killing game.”  
I pouted, acting as if he hurt my feelings.  
„Well, Hinata-chan, some people draw their own beautiful faces to cope, you know!”  
Honestly these words held more truth than it seemed. It was relaxing to just doodle while putting away the whiteboard's true purpose. I dragged it more towards the centre of the room, since some of the drawings were obscured by the table.  
„Plus, I don't know if you noticed that there's a drawing of you here, as well. So ungrateful for my fanart!”  
„...Huh?”  
He squinted at the whiteboard. Jeez, it really shouldn't be hard to notice which one of these has spiky hair!  
„...Am I the one in the centre? Why am I dressed...like that?”  
„Dingding! That's right! Hinata-chan is dressed as my maid because he brings me tea everyday, of course!”  
Hinata-chan knit his eyebrows and blushed immediately. He was making such a funny face that I burst out laughing, holding my stomach.  
„You would look great in a maid dress, honestly! Too bad there seem to be none here...”  
Actually, if I recall correctly, there was one in that machine he always got gifts from but I didn't have any coins. Bummer!

„...I wouldn't wear that. I'd rather die.”  
„That can be arranged,” I retorted, inspecting my fingernails. It was probably too morbid to joke about that when people already have died, but I would rather not think about that...  
Hinata-chan rolled his eyes. I think I blew it. He won't fall for that stuff anymore. I really...really miscalculated. Well, it's too late now. Oopsie.  
„Actually, there's something I'd genuinely want you to wear.”  
„Huh? What is it? It better not be anything weird.”  
„It's not, I pwomise! But, you see, remember when I told you I want you to join my organization? You don't have to but, I want you to have something to signify a bond anyway.”  
He raised his eyebrow as I made my way towards a small shelf on the other side. I took a scarf identical to the one I was wearing and handed it to him.  
„I'd be honoured if you took this, Hinata-chan. I don't have an entire uniform to hand out, unfortunately, but I'd like you to at least accept this scarf.”  
He took it from me and examined it for a while before finally tying it around his neck.  
„Waaaaaaaaaah, Hinata-chan looks adorable! And now we match!”

He rolled his eyes but he was smiling.  
„Anyway, there's something I wanted to say.”  
„Oooooooh, Hinata-chan has something to share? I'm all ears!” I leaned over the table, standing on my tippy toes with my face probably uncomfortably close.  
„So, remember that thing you said about lies?”  
„I've said many things about lies, Hinata-chan. That's my thing, you see. I thought you knew that.”  
„Sh-shut up! Let me finish.” He pouted, sweating nervously. My, how worked up. „When we talked earlier, you said something about your entire existence being a lie or something, right? I think...I'm kinda the same?”  
„Oh? Ohohohohoh?” I put my index finger up to my chin and tilted my head for the maximum innocent look. „What could you mean by that?”  
„You know...my talent? I don't know what it is. I can't remember. And I feel like...it's a huge part of my true identity. So if it's missing entirely...that means I'm living a lie. I'm not the real me. It's like I'm not fully there. Everyone here asked me what my talent is and I feel like because I don't know it, I'm not being fully honest with the others...”  
So that's been bothering him, huh? Curious, now that I think about it, that he never brought it up before. I suppose...he was too busy trying to get to know me to reveal his own worries.

Hinata-chan...is a strange person.

A good person, too good maybe, but definitely strange.

„Oh, that's it?” I responded, tilting my head further.  
„...What do you mean, 'that's it'?! It's kind of a big deal!”  
„...How so?”  
„...Huh? Didn't I just tell you??”  
I smiled and slanted my eyes slightly.  
„Why is it a big deal, though? I don't see how it matters.”  
Now he tilted his head, speechless.  
„Hinata-chan...I don't think your talent matters that much right now. You're your own person without it, and isn't that kind of admirable in a sense?”  
„...Eh?”  
„Look at it this way. I'm defined by being a supreme leader. I can't escape that. You look at me and you can tell.”  
„That's because you never shut up about it...”  
„Isn't everyone else like that, though? We like to define ourselves by things that aren't really that essential to our personalities or actions. Isn't it amazing that you can avoid that?”  
I narrowed my eyes towards him to check his reaction to these words. I wanted to see if he could tell how much of them I really meant.  
„But...that gives me less to define myself by, doesn't it?”  
I pointed my finger at him, nearly poking his forehead (it was really tempting).  
„Like hell it does. There's a lot you don't see about yourself, Hinata-chan!”  
I put on my poker face. That was no time for a cartoony act, really.  
„...You're a really good person. It might not help you in this game, but it's the truth. The fact you're talking to me right now is a testament to that.”

I looked away from him and walked towards my bed. I hesitated for a moment before jumping onto it desperately. I had no idea what I was doing at that moment. I felt so many conflicting impulses and I wanted them all to stop.

I sat up on the bed and slowly took off my pants, later covering my legs with the bedsheet. He'd seen my underwear anyway, it didn't matter, I just wanted to wrap myself up in there before continuing the conversation. He said nothing to that anyway.

„Maybe Hinata-chan's talent is being a good person. Or maybe,” I looked him in the eyes „maybe Hinata-chan has no talent. It doesn't matter. Sometimes you just have to learn to live a lie. Or a half-truth.”  
He looked at me with concern, which I appreciated and hated at the same time. I might have revealed more than I wanted to. Dammit.  
I couldn't help but notice the scarf suited him. Not as much as me, of course, but it contrasted well with his eyes – what colour even is that? - and I couldn't help staring.  
I'm the kind of person who's never sure of his true feelings. I lie so much, to others and to myself, that it's hard to tell what's really on my heart and what I invented for some reason.  
But...  
I think...  
I think, against all odds...  
...I really do like Hinata-chan.  
...Ugh.

I didn't even notice when my nervous tick of playing with my hair started, but I noticed I was doing it again. He must have noticed, but he said nothing.

„...Thank you.”

I heard him whisper that and shuddered. There was nothing to thank me for. Ugh.

„...Anyway, Hinata-chan, I think it'd be good if you left now. I'm tired. We'll see each other later. Unless you die on your way back to your room, of course.”  
I said that more humourlessly than intended. I think he took a hint, since he started walking towards the door immediately, taking his bottle with him.

„...You're a good person too, Ouma. You can't hide that forever. But I think I understand why you do.”  
I couldn't respond even if I wanted to, since before I turned towards him, the door had already closed.

The instant he left, I grabbed hair on the both sides of my head. Not strongly enough to rip it out, but it hurt nonetheless.

What are you doing, you moron?

Why are you doing this to yourself?

I wanted to scream but I didn't.  
Instead, I reached my hand under my bed and took out the materials I had gathered. There's no time to waste now.

I walked towards the whiteboard and began erasing the drawings, one by one, until only the Hinata-chan one was left. I looked at it one last time before erasing it too.

No more time for sappy emotions.

It's time to get serious, Ouma Kokichi.

Time to live your lie.


End file.
